Well, tonight has been a difficult evening for me. One problem which really blew me away was that when I picked up my hospitalization record, I found that much which happened was unlogged. Thus, the results would appear I went to the hospital with stress or anxiety. This send me tumbling over my mind, like tripping over a rock one never saw - out of control. I was angry, I was hurt, and I felt violated. I have an appointment with another doctor on Friday and he was to review my chart and help me perhaps set a path for some treatments. But now, I just feel the sanerio I have been through time times time before will jump to the forefront again - must be mental health issues. Now I was no mathematical wiz, but I knew my times table inside out, and that would mean getting some help for possible physical problems is going to become astronomically difficult in a world blinded by time divided by time. Yes, some of my MH issues triggered me to react badly tonight, after I had read the paperwork. I was hurt and angry and acted less than mature. I am saddened by that reality, saddened that handling things in a dignified manner is still something I must find a way to grasp. Well, maybe I will grow up tomorrow or the next day and not let these things get to me, or maybe I just won't.